‘Minions’ are fun but not quite as ‘Despicable’

One of the posters for ‘Minions.”

(My apologies, Giga Readers, for the lateness of this and my previous movie review. I’ve been quite busy of late).

Gru’s pill-shaped, banana-colored henchmen steal every scene in the Despicable Me films, so it was only natural that they’d get their own movie. The question is whether their gibberish-fueled antics could be stretched out to a full-length feature. Surprisingly, it works better than even I expected.

After years of boredom and ennui, Kevin, Stuart and Bob leave their Minions tribe in search of a new boss for them all. They soon find themselves entangled with supervillainess Scarlet Overkill, who wants them to steal Queen Elizabeth’s crown.

Minions could be classified as a spin-off or a prequel. Perhaps “spin-off prequel” (or vice versa) would be the best description. It details the origin of the Minions tribe early on, but it mostly focuses on a harrowing adventure that brought the titular goofballs to the (somewhat) civilized world and introduced them to supervillainy. What makes it a little strange is the Minions seem to be ageless. It shows them attempting to help previous bosses throughout history—including a T-Rex and Napoleon—yet it’s implied these are the same Minions seen later and not descendants. For children this probably won’t mean much, but for everyone else it begs crazy questions like, “Are these guys immortal?” It would explain their comical durability as seen throughout the Despicable Me movies.

Unlike the Minions, though, their bosses don’t live as long. A running gag—one that borders on being bit dark for a family film—is how the Minions accidentally get their masters killed. A T-Rex falls into a volcano. A rock crushes a yeti’s head. Now, these deaths aren’t gruesome and are often off-screen, but it does seem a bit weird that an otherwise kid-friendly film would play death as a joke as frequently as it does.

However, this sort of edginess has been a staple of the series since the beginning. It manifests itself in other ways. One Minion uses a gadget called the “hypno-hat” to, well, hypnotize some British guards into doing a Full Monty-esque dance routine. It’s yet another example of a joke that, hopefully, goes over kids’ heads and hits their parents in the funny bone, yet I must admit it did seem a bit inappropriate.

Thankfully, most of the comedy is the usual Minions antics we’ve all come to love. Their seemingly nonsensical gibberish is in full swing as well as their penchant for getting into slapstick-fueled trouble. The stars in this one are the Three Stooges-like trio of Kevin, Stuart and Bob. Each of them have distinct personalities and quirks that not only play well off one another and others, but also generate much of the comedy. Kevin is the responsible one, always trying to do the right thing and help others; Stuart is a loyal musician; and Bob is a naïve but enthusiastic animal lover. That’s a recipe for shenanigans, if there ever was one. It also gives kids different characters to relate to, since the Minions have always been child-like.
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The film’s greatest achievement is making these antics work for a feature-length film. Essentially, it takes the Minions’ scenes from both Despicable Me movies, which often served as colorful respites from the story, and stretches them to 100 minutes. Yet they never become boring or annoying. It’s a testament to the filmmakers and the strength of the Minions as characters.

I was once again struck by an unusual element of the world of these films: it’s full of supervillains (including a few new ones introduced in this story), but there doesn’t seem to be any superheroes in it. Perhaps it’s better that way. It helps to prevent it from becoming too cliché, since superheroes are all the rage at the moment. Although, an interesting story I could see for the inevitable Despicable Me 3 would be to have Gru and the Minions face a superhero.

Speaking of supervillains, Sandra Bullock almost steals the show from the Minions as their new “boss,” Scarlet Overkill (which is one of the best villain names I’ve ever heard). Equal parts funny, likable and homicidal, Scarlet is a loose cannon of a character who’s predictable and yet not. She always seems to be teetering on the brink of madness (I’m talking an almost Joker-like insanity). As with any good villain, she has a tragic backstory where she was bullied as a child, constantly told she was ugly. It compelled her to prove them all wrong by becoming the best supervillain(ess) of all time—and the queen of England. Yep, she wants the Minions to steal the crown so she can become queen simply to inflate her fragile ego. Hilarious and sympathetic.

Speaking of the Queen, she’s funny in her own right. Plucky and tough, she seems only slightly outmatched by the combined forces of the Minions and Scarlet. (SPOILER WARNING!) After she’s dethroned and Bob is inadvertently crowned king, she’s seen at an English pub arm-wrestling patrons. I was expecting she’d join the Minions in battling Scarlet for the climax, but she doesn’t appear again until afterward. It was an unfortunate missed opportunity.

Another expected but delightful guest star was a young Gru (voiced by Steve Carrell), who appears at the end and steals the crown from Scarlet after shooting her with his freeze ray. It was love at first sight for the Minions, who immediately chased after him despite him not warming up to them at first. It was a wonderful bow to tie onto the film. (SPOILERS END!)

While it isn’t quite as good as Despicable Me or as deep as Pixar’s Inside Out (which I wish I’d reviewed for GIGA, but I waited too long), it’s still a fun and hilarious summer flick for both kids and kids-at-heart.

Final Grade: B

Remembering Satoru Iwata

Nintendo has always been full of quirky folks, ones who have overwhelmed these many years of gaming with an abundance of creativity and whimsy. Unfortunately, there’s only so much a single person can contribute. On July 11, 2015, Satoru Iwata suddenly passed away from an illness that he had seemingly defeated. He was 55.

While there is much sadness in the gaming world, I want to make a recommendation. Let us play the games he helped produce and remember all of the joy these titles brought. Here, I will list some of the greatest achievements of Mr. Iwata.

Rollerball_cart

Rollerball (NES)

Rollerball was the first game in which Iwata was credited for being a producer, and it  was his first game on the Nintendo Entertainment System. To be honest, I had never heard of this game before researching his massive list of projects he had worked on. Rollerball was a pinball game for the NES that had multiple boards, which stretch multiple screens. Even though it is just pinball, the music and the feel of the game makes it fun and humbling. This simple game was the gateway that led to many other classics for Nintendo.

Saturn_Valley_Concept

Earthbound (SNES)

Earthbound is a game that continues to inspire people to this very day. It takes all the workings of a Japanese role-playing game and applies them to Americana. Throw in comments on psychology, excellent story telling, and off beat humor. Earthbound is not only one of the best SNES games, but also of all time. Fans of the series are still asking for more since there have been only three entries, one of which Westerners have yet to play as an official port.

If it wasn’t for Iwata and his team at Hal Laboratories, Earthbound (Mother 2 in Japan) may have been cancelled. The development process was grueling and Iwata helped alleviate that workload to help the game see release day. What sort of wonder did those men and women feel as they crafted what would be known as a timeless classic?

The game never sold as well as other Nintendo franchises, but it had so much heart that it has never truly left the minds of gamers. Even though we may never play another new title in the series, Ness and Lucas continue exploring the world in Super Smash Bros.

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Super Smash Bros (Nintendo 64)

Speaking of Smash, Iwata was also the producer of Nintendo’s greatest fighting game, putting all the characters from across the platform into one game. The game broke the conventions of typical fighting games and has rapidly evolved into one of the most complex games around. There are still players out there playing the first Smash competitively, to outstanding use of the game’s mechanics.

Super Smash Bros was the first game I bought for the N64; it essentially sold me the console. I didn’t like Mario running in circles, but I did like the idea of Mario battling against Pikachu. In fact, I waited months after buying an N64 before getting Smash. My family could barely afford the console, so I waited patiently to earn enough money for the game. Needless to say, I have the entire box of the system memorized. Smash was not only one of my favorite games for years, but it also pointed me to other Nintendo characters I had never seen. Playing Smash led me to discover the Metroid games and sent me on a quest to find out who the hell Ness is. I loved every second of it, and I owe a large part of that experience to Iwata.

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Animal Crossing (Nintendo Gamecube)

There is a simple joy to Animal Crossing. No monsters chase the player. No princesses are in danger. No realms are being razed by evil kings. There’s simply a community of animals and the player that lives among them. The neighborhood is filled with unique personalities and lots of things to do to bring them together. It’s not about getting a high score; it’s about enjoying life by catching bugs, remembering old experiences, or just growing a garden.

Unfortunately, the Gamecube classic is a little hard to find and can be expensive to buy. Luckily, Animal Crossing: New Leaf is available on 3DS, and taking the experience on the go feels more natural. While I haven’t had the chance to play many of the Animal Crossing games, I’ve always had immense respect for them and what they’ve accomplished. Such simple designs can bring great joy to everyone, and that’s something that I think Iwata truly wanted to deliver.

Wind-Waker-HD-Screenshot-11
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The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (Nintendo Gamecube)

I can only imagine how Iwata must have felt when the harsh criticism came to light on this game. I’ll admit that I was one of those gamers who felt anger towards the way the game looked when compared to Ocarina of Time. I wanted Link’s world to be more detailed, but I and everyone else were completely wrong. Wind Waker is a beautiful game that captures all of the staples of the Zelda franchise, while adding the freedom of sailing. This version of Link may have been less detailed, but he was more expressive than ever before.

Many franchises were reborn on the Gamecube. Wind Waker is one of those gambles that resulted in one of the most regarded Zelda games. It is so good, that just updating the graphics made it seem like it had been made for the current generation of consoles. Iwata must have known that Link as a character had more going on than heroism. He is much more complex than that. The struggle to show this side of such a well-loved character could’ve been the reason for such a stark change in presentation. Iwata and his team took a bold chance and the world of gaming was made the better because of it.

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 Wario Ware Inc: Mega Party Game$ (Gameboy Advance)

To truly understand the simple joy Iwata brought with his design, one must spend at least an hour with any of the Wario Ware games. They are sheer absurdity in a frantically paced mess, yet they remain overwhelmingly hilarious and fun. These sort of games are the kind that people want to share, just to bring laughs. I used to look down on this franchise, but did eventually try it out on the DS years ago. I laughed so hard that I practically wet myself and proceeded to play for several hours.

This franchise reminds me of being a kid who wanted to make people laugh, no matter what sort of weird, embarrassing act it took. Many of the game’s laughs are crude or random, which fit into that childish sense of humor that makes many of us laugh at farts and dirty jokes. Wario Ware takes an establish Nintendo villain and makes him the embodiment of humor, which is something everyone could use more of.

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Iwata helped make the world laugh, not only in his games, but in his nature. He was naturally a funny guy and that came out during his appearances at E3 and Nintendo Direct presentations. I also have a feeling that he was funny in person.

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A Conclusion of Wonderful Memories

I may never have personally known Mr. Iwata, but the games he helped create brought me smiles for the entirety of my life. The games he and his team created explore everything it means to stay youthful and having simple joys in life. These games have brought together people of all ages and all nationalities to simply have fun.

So yes, I have never met Satoru Iwata, but I do feel a closeness to his ideals and dreams. I feel sadness in his passing, as if he had been a family friend. However, it’s this sadness that reminds me of the things he had accomplished and the mass amounts of joy he left for everyone in his games.

Let his whimsical nature live on in the people he’s touched over the many, many years of game development.

Nintendo Co's President Satoru Iwata poses with the company's Wii U gaming controller at the company headquarters after an interview with Reuters in Kyoto, western Japan January 7, 2013. Nintendo's year-end sales of its Wii U games console were steady, though not as strong as when its Wii predecessor was first launched, Iwata said on Monday.   REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao (JAPAN - Tags: BUSINESS SOCIETY SCIENCE TECHNOLOGY) - RTR3C6EF

On my business card, I am a corporate president. In my mind, I am a game developer. But in my heart, I am a gamer. – Satoru Iwata

Rest in peace, Satoru Iwata, you will be missed and remembered.

 

Disciples of the Storm Brings a PC Classic into the Future

Classic PC gaming has always been a bit of an enigma to me. I didn’t get a chance to spend time with Doom, Mech Warrior or Starcraft. Even during those times, PC gaming was more of a niche than it is today. Pirating was super easy and a norm for the culture. Players would often have access to the code and create mods or whole new games. While this culture has waned a bit, several servers are still active for these old games. Whole communities are still playing classics like Unreal Tournament or Quake. Lucky for gamers, these communities hold many talented people, which sometimes leads to full-blown independent game development.

Even though Halo and Call of Duty rule the multiplayer scene, Unreal Tournament still sees regular play. Gotta love PC gaming.
Even though Halo and Call of Duty rule the multiplayer scene, Unreal Tournament still sees regular play. Gotta love PC gaming.

Kickstarter has been the breeding grounds for indie games. Many success stories bolster overnight funding with plenty of cash to use for even greater development than before. Usually, the titles that pay homage to older, well-loved franchises see the highest donations, such as Shovel Knight or Bloodstained. Following this trend, Storm Isle Productions hopes to keep its passion for the 1997 PC strategy game, Netstorm, alive with its newest title, Disciples of the Storm. It’s even working with some of the original developers of Netstorm!

NetStorm - Islands at War_8
Players use a bridge system to create connections to other islands to capture, attack, and defend. Its widely interesting.

To truly understand where Disciples is coming from, I had to dig into Netstorm, a game I hadn’t even heard of until recently. After a few hours of playing it, I can understand why Storm Isle chose to revive it. For starters, the interface is silky smooth which is a must in these competitive strategy games. Each motion of the mouse, each placement of units, everything just feels modern. Mechanically, there are many interesting things at work; plenty of depth for each unit type and faction. Players must build bridges to the enemy floating isles to attack, while keeping their own island safe from invasion. However, bridges take time before they are sturdy. Players can be quick with their bridge building, but it leads to cracked designs that crumble over time. This creates a flow to matches that I haven’t witnessed in any other title.

Luckily, the game is free since it is abandonware and I can attest that it works smoothly in Windows 8, which means I’ll be looking to sharpen my skills soon.

Playing Netstorm really gives Disciples of the Storm new life. The amount of detail being put into each unit is astounding, considering the basic graphics of Netstorm. For instance, the golems were once lifeless blobs that called me master, but for Disciples, they take on new life.

Rain Golem Concept
Yeah, I don’t want this guy touching my priest.

What’s even better than this guy stomping over to capture enemy units? Each of the four planned factions will be getting unique designs, making them easy to distinguish when in battle. Each unit from Netstorm is getting a glorious upgrade, making them fit their faction’s theme and being a better fit for the game’s environments.
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rain power
Raining rain! From a lacerated raindrop!

The developers of this title have obviously spent a lot of time on Netstorm, judging from the amount of joy being put into each aspect of the game. These are players who not only remember a classic game, but they also want to share this experience with a new generation. I can’t wait to see how players use the bridge system to creatively attack and defend. What sort of crazy strategies will come out of it?

Either way, its sure to bring a smile to old and new players alike.

Disciples of the Storm is accepting support on Kickstarter.

I discovered this project while searching for people interested in the gaming industry who are active in my home state of West Virginia. I found a little group of folks who discussed and traded games, but one user stuck out. Nathan Hunt trumpeted constantly about this exciting project he was working on, often showing models, environments, and the like for Disciples of the Storm. This lead to our connection, as there is very little to note for the game industry going on in WV. Since then, I’ve been keeping a close eye on the project, counting down the days til the Kickstarter. It’s been an eye-opening experience for me, as I thought game design was merely a hobby in WV. As I’d hoped, there are developers making awesome games everywhere, even WV.

Because of this, I challenge everyone to find local game designers, writers, video producers, and gamers and make a connection. Community is what makes being a gamer so awesome. We make lifelong friends through sharing these wild experiences that no other medium has.

Go forth my fellow Giga Geeks! Make connections!

Hasta la Vista, Franchise!

A poster for the film, which opened July 1, 2015.

“Old, but not obsolete.” That was Arnold Schwarzenegger’s newest catchphrase in Terminator: Genisys. If only the same could be said about this franchise, which couldn’t be saved by the combined forces of the T-800 (Schwarzenegger), the Doctor (Matthew Smith) and the queen of dragons (Emilia Clarke).

After the defeat of Skynet, Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) is sent back in time to protect Sarah Connor (Clarke) from a Terminator intent on killing her before she gives birth to resistance leader John Connor. However, when he arrives in 1984, he discovers the timelines have been drastically altered and nothing is as it once was.

Normally, I would post a spoiler warning at this point in my reviews, but in this case I don’t care. I haven’t been this disappointed and angry at a movie I saw in a theatre since G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. James Cameron’s first two Terminator films are classics, both of them ranking among my favorite movies. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is a retread of T2 and runs counter to its theme of beating fate. Terminator: Salvation at least tries to be different by focusing on the war with the machines in the future, showing plot points that had only been hinted at before.

Genisys, on the other hand, is a muddled mess. A better title would’ve been Terminator 5: Wibbley-Wobbley-Timey-Wimey. Heck, Steven Moffat, the (in)famous showrunner for the BBC’s Doctor Who known for intricate time-travel plots, would watch this and say, “What the bleep is going on?!” It would take an entire chalkboard to diagram this script.

The original Terminator is sent back to 1984, but another T-800 that was sent back to 1973 from an alternate timeline interrupts its efforts to find clothes, theoretically (a word this T-800 is overly fond of) creating said alternate timeline, except that timeline is negated when Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese travel to 2017 to halt Judgment Day (which was somehow postponed again) after battling John Connor (Jason Clarke), who had been transformed into a nanomachine Terminator and sent back in time by Skynet to ensure its creation in an alternate timeline from a future that no longer existed.

Did any of that run-on sentence make sense? I wrote it and still can’t decipher it. This plot has more holes in it than a wall after a machine-gun fight. It gave me a headache the more I thought about it while watching. I was so busy trying to unravel these tangled threads or hoping they’d fix it by the end, I hardly noticed the few genuinely entertaining moments in the movie.

This isn’t the first time a “soft reboot” like this has been done. J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek did it first in 2009, followed by the video game Mortal Kombat in 2011 and last year’s X-Men: Days of Future Past. All of them did involve time-travel. There were two big differences, though: 1) the time-travel was simpler and made more sense, and 2) they respected the continuities that came before them. Each of them told time-travel stories that wouldn’t have happened had it not been for the other entries in their respective series. For example, had the previous X-Men films not happened, there wouldn’t have been a terrible future both Magneto and Prof. X wanted to prevent by sending Wolverine back in time. Also, in these cases, some characters did remember what happened in the old timelines, so those stories weren’t invalidated.

In Genisys, though, it utilizes nostalgia to increase its appeal only to slap those stories and their fans in the face. The audience sees Skynet fall and both the original Terminator and Kyle Reese be sent back in time—only to have Skynet in a robot body “assimilate” John Connor. Then through recycling old footage and/or painstaking frame-by-frame reconstructions, the first T-800’s arrival in 1984 is seen as it was in The Terminator, only to be interrupted by an older Schwarzenegger. Then a T-1000 inexplicably shows up and attacks Kyle Reese, who’s then saved by a Sarah Connor who’s skipped ahead to T2 mode. It was an exercise in instant gratification.
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Artwork by White_Wolf_Redgrave. Courtesy of Deviant Art.

(Ironically, Skynet’s avatar is played by Matt Smith. Yes, the 11th Doctor is responsible for all these screwy time-travel shenanigans. I’m not surprised. The irony doesn’t excuse the poor storytelling, though).

The worst part was—as the movie’s spoiler-ific second trailer showed—turning John Connor into a Terminator. It wasn’t enough to simply have a machine masquerade as him. No, the hero who’d been a focal point of the entire franchise was turned into Skynet’s pawn. It rivals Frank Miller’s deplorable treatment of Superman in The Dark Knight Strikes Again, where he’s become a willing servant of Lex Luthor. It’s beyond stupid.

Salvation was intended to be the first of a new trilogy, which I’m guessing would’ve been focused on the war with the machines, showing John Connor’s rise to power, and ultimately culminate with what was the first 10-15 minutes of this film. Everything would’ve come full circle. Unfortunately, the studio that made Salvation, the Halcyon Company, went under, leaving the franchise in limbo. So, after that was all sorted out, they gave us this.

There’s a scene where Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese remark on how people seem glued to their mobile devices—smartphones, PDAs, etc.—that are all about to be connected through a network called Genisys (which is actually Skynet). It was meant to be a commentary on modern man’s dependence on technology. I think this tangled mess of a “reboot” was made just for that scene. The stupid thing is this has always been one of the franchise’s themes. It’s a timeless idea. If the filmmakers wanted to “modernize” it a bit for the kids, they should’ve just done a straight reboot. Even that isn’t necessary. Despite advances in technology, the older Terminator films—especially the first two—still remain relevant.

Apparently, there are plans for two sequels to this film already. Now I wish someone could send a Terminator back in time to prevent Genisys from being made.

Final Grade: D

Enjoy the article? Watch my video review–wherein the T-800 tries to keep me from watching the movie!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJTurkNMHfw]

KontrolFreek Grips Are a Solid Purchase

KontrolFreek has released a new product called KontrolFreek Grips, “. . . a multi-layer controller overlay that adheres directly to Xbox One and PlayStation 4 controllers.”

KontrolFreek Grips PS4
I did not review the green FPS Freek CQC Signature analog stick controller extensions pictured above.

To get straight to the point, the grips are pretty solid. From NBA 2k15 to Elder Scrolls Online, Batman: Arkham Knight to Battlefield: Hardline, not a single time did my grip slip. The grips took some getting used to because they add a slight amount of extra bulk to my PS4 controller, but now I find it odd to play without them. The grips are a comfortable foam cushion for my hands, much like memory foam. Honestly, I’m as close to being one with my controller as I can be without surgery.

I’ve never really been the one to suffer from sweaty palms while gaming, but I have definitely noticed my hands are a lot cooler after long hours of gaming. The foam layer is a breathable material, which prevents sweating and doesn’t trap heat.  Also, the materials used are anti-microbial, meaning the grips are anti-bacterial, anti-fungus, and anti-odor.

While seemingly simple, KontrolFreek Grips are the result of years of research and development. – Ashish Mistry, CEO of KontrolFreek

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KontrolFreek Grips PS4

Performance gaming gear is usually not high on the list of things I look for in accessories, but I’m definitely glad to have these. Now, if you will excuse me, I have hours of comfortable gameplay to get back to.

These grips and other performance gaming gear can be purchased on the KontrolFreek website for $12.99 (currently 32% off) for both the PS4 and the Xbox One.