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There and Back Again – A Review of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Image courtesy of Screenrant.
Image courtesy of Screenrant.

Another December, another fantasy film directed by Peter Jackson, starring the country of New Zealand. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies brings this prequel trilogy to a close. Only Peter Jackson could make a three-hour movie about a giant monkey (2005’s King Kong), and only he can turn a children’s book into a nearly 9-hour film split into three parts. Is it worth it? Depends on if you’ve read the book.

(SPOILER WARNING!)

With Smaug the dragon dead, Bilbo tries to keep the Dwarf Thorin from being consumed by greed as several armies gather at the Lonely Mountain to take its liberated treasure horde.

This is a difficult film for me to review. First, it’s part three of a much longer movie. Second, Tolkien is one of my favorite authors and The Lord of the Rings is my favorite book. Third, I had a mostly good reaction to An Unexpected Journey, but mixed feelings about The Desolation of Smaug. My chief complaints are that Bilbo eventually became a supporting character in his own story and that the book could’ve been adapted into two movies had the unnecessary filler been removed. So, I wasn’t super-excited about seeing this one, which is why I was pleasantly surprised that I fairly enjoyed it.

Now, it does still have filler, but this time most of it involves the titular battle. In the book, it’s only a handful of pages, thereby leaving most of it to the reader’s imagination. With film, those few pages can be brought to vibrant life—for a long time. I think the battle takes up over an hour of the film’s running time, which clocks in at just under two-and-a-half hours (which, ironically, I think makes it the shortest film in the franchise). Jackson definitely tops himself here, giving the audience a bigger, more intense battle than any seen in his Lord of Rings film trilogy. The title says there’s five armies, but it seems like there’s at least seven: men, Dwarves, Orcs/Goblins, Elves, and Wargs. There’s also Eagles, bats and what appear to be Trolls, who are allied with them. The special effects are the best of the franchise, especially during this huge climax.

That’s the best word to describe this film: climax. It’s a bit lighter on story because it’s the culmination of everything that’s come in the previous two films. It truly is the last third of a story. None of the films can stand alone.

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Don’t worry, Benedict Cumberbach fans. He shows up just long enough to collect a paycheck voice Smaug for a few minutes when the dragon attacks Lake-Town.

As for the other returning characters, they, unfortunately, fall victim to Star Wars prequel syndrome. Gandalf, Galadriel, Sauruman and Elrond spend several early scenes battling the Necromancer—aka Sauron—only to banish him to Mordor. In other words, they’re just there to set up Lord of the Rings films. Now, if memory serves me right, these incidents are part of Tolkien lore, but they’re not in The Hobbit. Regardless, after this, only Gandalf is seen again.

Tauriel, despite being played by the lovely Evangeline Lilly, continues to be extraneous. I thought it was faulty to include her in the first place. Jackson and company invented her because they thought women wouldn’t watch a film with an all-male cast, but then they made her one-third of a love triangle, which is such a cliché. That isn’t as prominent a subplot here as it was in Desolation, thankfully, but it doesn’t add anything other than a little more emotional potency to the death of Kili during the battle. I expected her to die since she’s not even mentioned in the Lord of the Rings films, but she survives, and her fate is never explained. This is an oversight I hope is remedied in the inevitable extended cut of this film.

Despite the changes and filler, I do think the film keeps (most) of the spirit and themes of the book, which are the most important things to remember when adapting a story from one media to another.

Much like the Star Wars prequels, I don’t think the Hobbit trilogy will go down as a classic like its predecessors, but it’s still a solid and enjoyable fantasy adventure. I’d be more than happy to go “there and back again.”

Final Grade: B

Cinema Sit-Down, Movies/TV, Random Giga

The One I Love Review

I really wanted to love The One I Love, but sadly that was not the case. It’s definitely not a bad movie, but it certainly isn’t great either. It’s one of those cases where the description is more interesting than the actual movie. The One I Love stars Mark Duplas (Ethan) and Elisabeth Moss (Sophie) as a married couple, who, in an attempt to save their marriage, spend a weekend at a resort. During their first night exploring the property, the couple finds a guest house. They soon discover when they go into the guest house alone, they meet an exact copy of their spouse, a slightly better copy of the original.

At first, Ethan and Sophie are fine with their spouse spending time with the copy of themselves, but that doesn’t last long. Sophie falls in love with her copy of Ethan, which drives original Ethan crazy-especially when Ethan realizes the copy of him has been calling his friends and family in an attempt to learn information about Ethan only the original Ethan/those close to him would know. Sophie on the other hand never seems to care what Ethan’s doing with the copy of herself. It’s hard to blame her though. Her actual husband is a bit of a wet blanket, and they’re only on this trip because he’d recently cheated on her.

The going in and out of the guest house gets pretty old after the first few times; I thought that was literally going to be whole film. No one else really appears in this movie besides Ethan and Sophie’s therapist (Ted Danson). It may have been more enjoyable if there were more interactions with other characters. My newly discovered love for Mark Duplas kept me going, and I also enjoyed watching Elisabeth Moss.
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Most of the mystery is left unexplained, which in this case was disappointing rather than intriguing. Eventually Ethan and Sophie do meet up with their copies and have an incredibly tense double date. The copies were originally plotting to turn the originals against each other, possibly the only way for the copies to get off the resort if the originals can’t make up.

It’s never really explained how the copies ever came to be, which drove me crazy. There are photographs of other couples there, so how were those copies created and are the Ethan and Sophie copies just those other copies in a new form? This situation is too complicated to be left unexplained. I think this could have been a better story if it wasn’t trying to be sci-fi, but I don’t really know what else it could be. Sadly, this film just didn’t really click with me. I think it’s worth a watch, but ultimately a little disappointing.

Cinema Sit-Down, Movies/TV, Science Zone, Tech World

Who has time for Interstellar?

Interstellar:  With our time on Earth coming to an end, a team of explorers undertakes the most important mission in human history; to travel through a wormhole in an attempt to find a potentially habitable planet that will sustain humanity. (C) Paramount / IMDB)

A typical Morning like any other, my daughter was in school, routine as usual, a pleasant surprise happened at my door. The knock sent me to the window to see who it could be only to find it was my dear mother cheerful smile as usual for a visit. Over herbal tea and a split peanut butter sandwich we decided to be spontaneous and take a trip to see a movie. To see what? It didn’t matter.

Presented with a number of viable choices at the ticket booth—both of us being sci-fi buffs—we immediately gravitated to Interstellar, we really had no clue what it was about and had never seen a trailer for it (I rarely watch television), but how much more “sci-fi” could that title be? Even with the reputation Christopher Nolan has for delivering masterful films, we were not prepared for what we were about experience. What we saw transcended science fiction, taking us for a thrilling, nail-biting emotional roller-coaster, mixing elements of quantum science coupled with an outstanding demonstration visually representing the basics of string theory, all while playing at the heart strings of any parent or adventurous spirit. For this Father-Geek it was money well spent.

The viewer should be prepared to entertain scientific theories that still fall into the theoretical category. In layman’s terms, there are many broad ideas presented that some viewers will either quickly grasp or have to watch twice or more. I recommend the latter. A perfect blend of visually stunning cinematography and art direction, the superficial story makes the PG-13 rating appropriate for children even with its very brief expletives. Young viewers will enjoy the excitement and action of the harrowing journey, while those geeks who are older and/or more knowledgeable will appreciate the depth and magnitude of the over-arching storyline and premise.

Two hours and forty-nine minutes felt like half that time. The pacing of the movie is perfect to create the illusion of lapsed time echoing the mood and theme. Considering the topic relied on Einstein’s theory of relativity and time dilation (which basically means that time lapses differently for two objects as perceived by an observer, depending on whether they are traveling at the same speed and bound to the same gravitational force or not). Time really became irrelevant while sitting in that movie theater.

The issue Earth has is it will become unsuitable for supporting human life. With the discovery of a recently formed wormhole, NASA has a “Plan A” and “Plan B” for ensuring the continuity of the human race, which involves exploring that wormhole (it seemed to have recently been “intelligently placed” in our Solar System). Plan A: In hopes of identifying which of three options has the best possibility of being suitable for sustaining human life, traverse the wormhole and explore the galaxy at the other side. Once identified, return home to Earth parades. Plan B: If none could be found or if the mission takes longer than planned, then it would be up to the members of this space exploration mission to carry with them the seeds of humanity and continue the human races on their own.

NASA recruits a onetime ace NASA pilot and engineer named Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) father of teenage son Tom (Timothee Chalamet) and his 10-year-old daughter Murphy “Murph,” aptly named after Murphy’s Law (Mackenzie Foy). Ultimately Cooper, to the chagrin of his daughter Murph, agrees to join and lead the humanity-saving expedition. Matthew McConaughey rips at our heart strings as we have front row seats to his doubt, anguish, and hope. Watching him question whether he loves humanity or his children more or are they both one in the same cause, had me at the edge of my seat and a ball of nerves simply by considering as a father how far I would go for my own daughters. Without spoiling much, the ending was such a gentle touch down after a long journey, allowing my shoulders to lower and relax. By the time the credits rolled, I felt like I had run a marathon while carrying 1000 lbs. on my shoulders. I was exhausted for Cooper and my only thought was to hug my little girl tightly when she came home from school.
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Aside from that of the authentic Matthew McConaughey, other performances that cannot be understated are that of Anne Hathaway, who plays an exemplary supporting star; Michael Cain and John Lithgow both distinctive icons in performance and notability; Mackenzie Foy and Jessica Chastain who convincingly played the same role so perfectly.

Matt Damon, although briefly, complimented the quality of acting capability essential to harmoniously interpreting and conveying such a climactic portion of the story. Josh Stewart (TARS Robot) gave the audience a refreshing impression of what machines can be: not apathetic, but comfortably bound by objective. TARS is one of my most memorable good-guy robots, without mimicking the I am almost human/Robot theme that’s become a bit stale. Along with many other great illustrations of showmanship, the cast was synergistic. Visually hypnotic, Nolan hand gift-wraps a superb collection of creative yet compelling and inspiring capture techniques that is only achievable from an iconic director of his caliber.

Ultimately, I would suggest any parent, science geek, action-suspense fan, or Sci-fi lover to run immediately to your nearest movie theater and throw cash as the man behind the window declaring that ‘you will not leave until they slide a ticket through that little opening in the glass panel between you’, then cross your arms and stare.

~Jack~
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Film/Television/Broadcast/Radio, Movies/TV, Pop Culture

Why Old-School Horror is the Scariest

Whenever I wander through the local Family Video, I think the shelves are walls of horror movies. Not classics like Bela Lugosi’s Dracula or the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, but schlock like Silent Night, Deadly Night or a horde of wannabe George Romero zombie movies. It seems like every idiot with a camera tries to make a horror film (if he doesn’t make a porno first).

I’m not quite sure why these movies flood the market, but 99% of them suffer from the same problems as most modern horror: they’re not scary. Whether they have big budgets or small, famous actors or unknowns, these movies fail to frighten audiences or even entertain them. This is disappointing because scary stories are as old as civilization and have made great contributions to the literary and film worlds. When it comes to movies, I find classic horror films to be leaps and bounds above most new films.

What makes the classics work? There are many reasons, but I’ll focus on a few I think are most important.

1. No over-reliance on gore/shock   

alien-poster“Splatterfest” is practically a synonym for “horror movie” nowadays. Its a sad cliché. Now, horror—icon Stephen King did list “the Gross-Out” as one of three types of fear. The problem is the majority of modern horror seems to think its the only kind. I swear these filmmakers have a gore fetish, and so do their fans. Many of them are too desensitized to find it shocking anymore and revel in it instead. It stereotypes horror fans as sadomasochistic weirdos.

Can gore be effective? Yes, but it should be a supplement to the other types of fear King outlines: horror (something unnatural) and terror (fear of the unknown). Like an exclamation point, it can be powerful when used sparingly, but if used constantly (like it is in many an internet forum), it just looks stupid.

The original Alien (my all-time favorite horror film) has one gory part. It horrifies for many reasons, not the least of which being that it’s the one bloody scene in a fairly bloodless film.

2. Leaving some things to the imagination  

A related problem is modern horror’s penchant for showing audiences everything, whether its the gruesome deaths or Jason Voorhees stalking up behind a victim. This isn’t always necessary. A person’s imagination can create more terrifying images than any filmmaker or author can conjure. Plus, as noted, the unknown is usually the scariest thing. What did the monster/killer do to that unsuspecting woman? The audience doesn’t know since it cut away when she screamed. What does the monster look like? The mystery frightens audiences.

This is why films like The Blair Witch Project—arguably a modern classic—are effective. It  scares people with ideas. Some say the infamous witch is a decrepit old woman; some say she’s a hairy half-human/half-beast creature. Since she’s never revealed, the audience is terrified by both the mystery and the image of the monster in their heads.

3. Better protagonists   

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Now, should senseless/despicable characters be nixed from stories? No. I’m not opposed to idiot characters or having them move plots along, but the story shouldn’t be dependent on them. As for reprehensible characters, there’s something to be said about watching them get their comeuppance; however, variety is the spice of life, so it’s refreshing to see likable heroes.

thing_poster_01John Carpenter’s The Thing is noteworthy because it has no stupid characters. All of them react in smart, rational ways until paranoia drives them insane. The first Fright Night has some of the most entertaining heroes in a horror film: a teenage boy and an out-of-work horror movie actor. The original Nightmare on Elm Street has the wonderfully strong and clever heroine Nancy, who refuses to become Freddy Krueger’s next victim. She’s a breath of fresh air in a genre that typically relegates women to hapless victims.

4. Better antagonists  

Heroes are often only as good as their villains. In that case, most modern horror flicks have forgettable and boring heroes and villains. Some may look cool, but they’re presented as these nigh-invincible monsters who relentlessly pursue/torture people. It makes the victims and heroes look like powerless pawns, mere tools to give gorehounds a cheap thrill. Such villains are one-dimensional caricatures.

Classic horror villains are powerful but they also have weaknesses. Dracula has the classic vampire vulnerabilites. Zombies cease to function if their brains are destroyed. Giving villains such vulnerabilities doesn’t undermine them, instead it gives the heroes a fighting chance to stop them, increasing the tension.

5. Multilayered fears/ideas   

uploads_d9bcef8e-e769-4a29-b6f3-cd7ca1818187-nightmare_2As I said before, modern horror tends to fixate on the “gross-out” scares, but fear is an often nuanced emotion. There’s psychological horror, where the fear comes from frightening ideas, and cosmic horror, which scares people by making them feel small and insignificant. Not only that, but the monsters in good horror stories, whether they are human or not, are often metaphors for real-life fears, adding depth to them and allowing them to work on multiple levels.

Going back to Alien, that film works because it touches upon many types of fears: the unknown, shadows, body mutilation, isolation, unnaturalness and even rape. Add to that the corporation which values a scientific find over human lives, and what could’ve been another B-grade creature, feature is elevated to a classic award-winning film. It goes beyond just showing audiences horrific things.

So this Halloween, after the kids finish trick-or-treating, have a marathon of classic horror films until the witching hour passes.

Sidenote: If you’d like to hear me talk more about this, check out “But I Digress . . . , Episode 2: Horrible Horror,” a video I made a few years ago for my YouTube show.

Cinema Sit-Down, Film/Television/Broadcast/Radio, Movies/TV

The Vicious Brothers are Back with EXTRATERRESTRIAL

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I didn’t know what to expect when I first read the description of Extraterrestrial—I’m not a huge alien-horror-film fan because the thought of aliens scares the shit out of me.  Honestly, when I saw this was another The Vicious Brothers creation, that was enough to get me interested. Their first two movies Grave Encounters and Grave Encounters 2 successfully shut down my plans to tour any haunted locations. Despite that, I was ready to be scared again.

The set up is cliché: the almost happy couple, April (Brittany Allen) and Kyle (Freddie Stroma), make plans to spend the weekend at a cabin in the woods of a small town. Kyle invites Mel (Melanie Papalia), April’s best friend; Seth (Jesse Moss), the annoyingly funny loudmouth and Seth’s new ditsy girlfriend, Lex (Anja Savcic). On the way to the cabin, Seth causes some trouble, which leads the group to meet the Sheriff (Gil Bellows); by looking at him you can tell he’s going through a tough time. Soon after arriving at the cabin, April and Mel run into April’s old family friend, Travis, played by the great and always crazy Michael Ironside.

Later that night, after witnessing a ball of fire fly out of the sky and crash in the distance, the group decides to go check it out—great idea. Shit goes down hill from there: an alien is shot and a pack of pissed off aliens make it their duty to hunt the group down.

Though the characters are one sided, the actors are believable and play their parts well—by the end of the movie I wanted Seth to die and the couple to live happily ever after. We learn very little about the main characters’ backgrounds other than they like to smoke, drink, and they are in college. Regardless of what we know (or don’t know) about them, it was nice to see them make some smart moves to get the hell out of dodge. When I yelled at them to “Get in the car and leave!” they actually listened; I was quite pleased. You get a little insight into the Sheriff’s background and you feel bad for him, but not enough to make you really care.

Travis’ crazy conspiracy theory explanation of the alien’s presence is a nice change from the usual “we’re aliens, we can do whatever we want because our planet is dying/we’re bored/uh, we’re freakin’ aliens” explanation.

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The film does not look low budget at all. Very little special effects were used, which I love and appreciate. I didn’t like the found-footage-styled scenes; you know, like The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity. They seem like a last minute addition and didn’t help the film; luckily they disappear as the action builds up. The aliens. You get to see the aliens and they look creepy-good and real. Their grey bodies are long and thin, and the eyes are large black pools on their expressionless faces.

The ending disappointed me. I was hoping for something different—it would have been so cool—but the last 5 – 10 minutes are drawn out and corny.  I get the feeling it was done on purpose.

As I watched the movie, I couldn’t tell if The Vicious Brothers wanted this film to poke fun at the horror genre, be a legit thriller or a mix of both. Maybe they were trying to create a scary horror-spoof. Travis’ exaggerated crazy-guy-in-the-woods character is the complete opposite from the Sheriff’s gloom or the group’s desperate attempt to save themselves. Also, death by butt probe? Gotta be a spoof, right? Despite the confusion, I enjoyed Extraterrestrial—more than I thought I would. I laughed, I jumped and I got a little twist.This film gave me a much needed break from the slew of paranormal films that have come out recently. I just wish it ended my way.

Extraterrestrial will be released at New York’s IFC Center and additional U.S. theaters on November 21, 2014.