Category Archives: Movies/TV

But I Digress… Episode 31: A Review of ‘Fantastic Four’ (2015)

In case you didn’t see this in my updated Terminator: Genisys review, writing for GigaGeek Magazine is just one of the many hats I wear (one of which I plan to be Indiana Jones’ Stetson, but I digress).

See what I did there? An obvious but clever segue!

I also run my own YouTube channel where I have my own show called But I Digress. . . I usually talk about creativity/writing/storytelling, but I also do movie reviews and comedy sketches. What I’m sharing with you today is my latest episode: a review of the new Fantastic Four movie. It’s not quite as entertaining as my Terminator video, but it was a great discussion with my buddy and occasional co-host, Sergio Garza. Enjoy!


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“But I Digress…”
Hosted by Nathan Marchand

I wasn’t planning on doing this, but since people kept asking me what I thought of the new Fantastic Four, I decided to make an impromptu video review of it. I invite my buddy Sergio Garza to join me as we–no surprise–riff on the movie and say the Roger Corman version is better. No joke.

Title card/thumbnail by Jarod Marchand (commission available at his DeviantArt page).

Please subscribe, comment, and share!

www.NathanJSMarchand.com

How Nintendo Could Make A MOBA

Gaming trends come and go. Hell, when Doom appeared, developers frantically emulated that iconic first person style. For many years, FPS games were referred to as Doom Clones. When a game truly perfects a style and is wildly successful, developers will inevitably put their own spin on it or sometimes shamefully try to make a quick buck.

Nintendo seems to ignore these trends in the industry. In fact, it’s just now getting into the mobile-gaming scene, years after Apple and Google created an environment, which generates tons of revenue. What’s sad is that there are many Nintendo franchises that can easily be used in interesting ways. I’m not saying it should just copy everything that becomes popular, but there are whole genres being developed that could use that Nintendo touch, just for the sake of the genre.

Nintendo has so many creative licenses that a MOBA just makes sense.

This is why Nintendo needs to make a MOBA.

Before I go any further, let me first say that I am in no way a MOBA fanatic. In fact, the only MOBA I regularly play is Smite and its a prime example of what can be done with the style. That being said, I have immense respect for what MOBA games have done for that style of game, the heightened awareness of competitive gaming that comes with its popularity.

Without MOBAs like League and DOTA 2, this wouldn't be possible.
Without MOBAs like League and DOTA 2, this wouldn’t be possible.

While trying to come up with the general concept for a Nintendo MOBA, I spent hours thinking of how it could be done without it being too much like Super Smash Bros. Using that sort of model, a MOBA by the Big N would simply be an extra mode for Smash, something that wouldn’t really take advantage of the mechanics of the genre, a rushed multiplayer mode on a clearly single player experience if it were.

That's right Bioshock 2! I'm looking at you.
That’s right Bioshock 2! I’m looking at you.

Then, a revelation occurred while playing my DS. What other Nintendo franchise has a vast history, tons of characters, and a strategy-centered gameplay? Fire Emblem.

Fire Emblem has a vast history and cast that can be pulled from to make a truly awesome MOBA experience.
Fire Emblem has a vast history and cast that can be pulled from to make a truly awesome MOBA experience.

Think of it this way. How simple would it be to replace all the characters in Smite or League with characters from Fire Emblem? Even that simple act alone would still be an interesting way to play. Add in some locales from various games and let the money roll in. However, something that simple wouldn’t take advantage of the concept, even though it would inevitably be profitable.

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This Fire Emblem title could also make interesting use of the Wii U gamepad or the dual screens of the 3DS. Not only could maps be presented, but players could also ping locations, and mark out strategies; pretty much anything that could be done with a PC is possible. This would also give Nintendo a chance to add more voice chat support to its games.

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One of the defining features of Fire Emblem is that characters can upgrade their class. This could be done mid-game, allowing players to choose to upgrade after reaching level ten. Players could also hold back on upgrading for the extra stats as well, just like in the source material. This could create many interesting decisions from players and develop unique abilities for characters. Add in characters that can choose between a few classes will make things even better.

As another interesting spin, most MOBA games are played in real time, while every Fire Emblem title is turn based. Thus a MOBA could be created in a turn-based system, fitting more with the style of the source material, while experimenting with the genre. This could also be played against friends similarly to the Civilization series that enables players to play a single game over several days, if not longer. That sort of play could also be ported over to smart phones with little difficulty.

A Fire Emblem MOBA could also give players a chance to create their own champions, due to the classes of the games each having unique looks and skills. Players could choose a class, edit a model, and gank lanes as their own characters. Most characters would be the iconic characters throughout the series and could have powers unique to their stories or design, retaining the general idea of their respective class.

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Even though I can see this sort of project being immensely amazing for fans of Nintendo, MOBA games, and the Fire Emblem franchise, I don’t see this sort of thing happening for a while. Nintendo really doesn’t like to take risks with its franchises. Although, sometimes those titles such as Metroid Prime or Wind Waker, prove to be some of the most interesting. In fact, maybe Retro Studios need to head this project. Seriously guys, this could be a great chance to get Nintendo into MOBA games or even the PC market. Call me if you need a project leader.

Or fans should start making this a reality. Of course Nintendo would cancel it, but hey, it’d be fun for a while.

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Until I can have Lyn take out monsters in the jungle, I can be found putting some serious hours into Shadow Dragon on the DS.

‘Minions’ are fun but not quite as ‘Despicable’

One of the posters for ‘Minions.”

(My apologies, Giga Readers, for the lateness of this and my previous movie review. I’ve been quite busy of late).

Gru’s pill-shaped, banana-colored henchmen steal every scene in the Despicable Me films, so it was only natural that they’d get their own movie. The question is whether their gibberish-fueled antics could be stretched out to a full-length feature. Surprisingly, it works better than even I expected.

After years of boredom and ennui, Kevin, Stuart and Bob leave their Minions tribe in search of a new boss for them all. They soon find themselves entangled with supervillainess Scarlet Overkill, who wants them to steal Queen Elizabeth’s crown.

Minions could be classified as a spin-off or a prequel. Perhaps “spin-off prequel” (or vice versa) would be the best description. It details the origin of the Minions tribe early on, but it mostly focuses on a harrowing adventure that brought the titular goofballs to the (somewhat) civilized world and introduced them to supervillainy. What makes it a little strange is the Minions seem to be ageless. It shows them attempting to help previous bosses throughout history—including a T-Rex and Napoleon—yet it’s implied these are the same Minions seen later and not descendants. For children this probably won’t mean much, but for everyone else it begs crazy questions like, “Are these guys immortal?” It would explain their comical durability as seen throughout the Despicable Me movies.

Unlike the Minions, though, their bosses don’t live as long. A running gag—one that borders on being bit dark for a family film—is how the Minions accidentally get their masters killed. A T-Rex falls into a volcano. A rock crushes a yeti’s head. Now, these deaths aren’t gruesome and are often off-screen, but it does seem a bit weird that an otherwise kid-friendly film would play death as a joke as frequently as it does.

However, this sort of edginess has been a staple of the series since the beginning. It manifests itself in other ways. One Minion uses a gadget called the “hypno-hat” to, well, hypnotize some British guards into doing a Full Monty-esque dance routine. It’s yet another example of a joke that, hopefully, goes over kids’ heads and hits their parents in the funny bone, yet I must admit it did seem a bit inappropriate.

Thankfully, most of the comedy is the usual Minions antics we’ve all come to love. Their seemingly nonsensical gibberish is in full swing as well as their penchant for getting into slapstick-fueled trouble. The stars in this one are the Three Stooges-like trio of Kevin, Stuart and Bob. Each of them have distinct personalities and quirks that not only play well off one another and others, but also generate much of the comedy. Kevin is the responsible one, always trying to do the right thing and help others; Stuart is a loyal musician; and Bob is a naïve but enthusiastic animal lover. That’s a recipe for shenanigans, if there ever was one. It also gives kids different characters to relate to, since the Minions have always been child-like.
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The film’s greatest achievement is making these antics work for a feature-length film. Essentially, it takes the Minions’ scenes from both Despicable Me movies, which often served as colorful respites from the story, and stretches them to 100 minutes. Yet they never become boring or annoying. It’s a testament to the filmmakers and the strength of the Minions as characters.

I was once again struck by an unusual element of the world of these films: it’s full of supervillains (including a few new ones introduced in this story), but there doesn’t seem to be any superheroes in it. Perhaps it’s better that way. It helps to prevent it from becoming too cliché, since superheroes are all the rage at the moment. Although, an interesting story I could see for the inevitable Despicable Me 3 would be to have Gru and the Minions face a superhero.

Speaking of supervillains, Sandra Bullock almost steals the show from the Minions as their new “boss,” Scarlet Overkill (which is one of the best villain names I’ve ever heard). Equal parts funny, likable and homicidal, Scarlet is a loose cannon of a character who’s predictable and yet not. She always seems to be teetering on the brink of madness (I’m talking an almost Joker-like insanity). As with any good villain, she has a tragic backstory where she was bullied as a child, constantly told she was ugly. It compelled her to prove them all wrong by becoming the best supervillain(ess) of all time—and the queen of England. Yep, she wants the Minions to steal the crown so she can become queen simply to inflate her fragile ego. Hilarious and sympathetic.

Speaking of the Queen, she’s funny in her own right. Plucky and tough, she seems only slightly outmatched by the combined forces of the Minions and Scarlet. (SPOILER WARNING!) After she’s dethroned and Bob is inadvertently crowned king, she’s seen at an English pub arm-wrestling patrons. I was expecting she’d join the Minions in battling Scarlet for the climax, but she doesn’t appear again until afterward. It was an unfortunate missed opportunity.

Another expected but delightful guest star was a young Gru (voiced by Steve Carrell), who appears at the end and steals the crown from Scarlet after shooting her with his freeze ray. It was love at first sight for the Minions, who immediately chased after him despite him not warming up to them at first. It was a wonderful bow to tie onto the film. (SPOILERS END!)

While it isn’t quite as good as Despicable Me or as deep as Pixar’s Inside Out (which I wish I’d reviewed for GIGA, but I waited too long), it’s still a fun and hilarious summer flick for both kids and kids-at-heart.

Final Grade: B

Hasta la Vista, Franchise!

A poster for the film, which opened July 1, 2015.

“Old, but not obsolete.” That was Arnold Schwarzenegger’s newest catchphrase in Terminator: Genisys. If only the same could be said about this franchise, which couldn’t be saved by the combined forces of the T-800 (Schwarzenegger), the Doctor (Matthew Smith) and the queen of dragons (Emilia Clarke).

After the defeat of Skynet, Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) is sent back in time to protect Sarah Connor (Clarke) from a Terminator intent on killing her before she gives birth to resistance leader John Connor. However, when he arrives in 1984, he discovers the timelines have been drastically altered and nothing is as it once was.

Normally, I would post a spoiler warning at this point in my reviews, but in this case I don’t care. I haven’t been this disappointed and angry at a movie I saw in a theatre since G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. James Cameron’s first two Terminator films are classics, both of them ranking among my favorite movies. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is a retread of T2 and runs counter to its theme of beating fate. Terminator: Salvation at least tries to be different by focusing on the war with the machines in the future, showing plot points that had only been hinted at before.

Genisys, on the other hand, is a muddled mess. A better title would’ve been Terminator 5: Wibbley-Wobbley-Timey-Wimey. Heck, Steven Moffat, the (in)famous showrunner for the BBC’s Doctor Who known for intricate time-travel plots, would watch this and say, “What the bleep is going on?!” It would take an entire chalkboard to diagram this script.

The original Terminator is sent back to 1984, but another T-800 that was sent back to 1973 from an alternate timeline interrupts its efforts to find clothes, theoretically (a word this T-800 is overly fond of) creating said alternate timeline, except that timeline is negated when Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese travel to 2017 to halt Judgment Day (which was somehow postponed again) after battling John Connor (Jason Clarke), who had been transformed into a nanomachine Terminator and sent back in time by Skynet to ensure its creation in an alternate timeline from a future that no longer existed.

Did any of that run-on sentence make sense? I wrote it and still can’t decipher it. This plot has more holes in it than a wall after a machine-gun fight. It gave me a headache the more I thought about it while watching. I was so busy trying to unravel these tangled threads or hoping they’d fix it by the end, I hardly noticed the few genuinely entertaining moments in the movie.

This isn’t the first time a “soft reboot” like this has been done. J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek did it first in 2009, followed by the video game Mortal Kombat in 2011 and last year’s X-Men: Days of Future Past. All of them did involve time-travel. There were two big differences, though: 1) the time-travel was simpler and made more sense, and 2) they respected the continuities that came before them. Each of them told time-travel stories that wouldn’t have happened had it not been for the other entries in their respective series. For example, had the previous X-Men films not happened, there wouldn’t have been a terrible future both Magneto and Prof. X wanted to prevent by sending Wolverine back in time. Also, in these cases, some characters did remember what happened in the old timelines, so those stories weren’t invalidated.

In Genisys, though, it utilizes nostalgia to increase its appeal only to slap those stories and their fans in the face. The audience sees Skynet fall and both the original Terminator and Kyle Reese be sent back in time—only to have Skynet in a robot body “assimilate” John Connor. Then through recycling old footage and/or painstaking frame-by-frame reconstructions, the first T-800’s arrival in 1984 is seen as it was in The Terminator, only to be interrupted by an older Schwarzenegger. Then a T-1000 inexplicably shows up and attacks Kyle Reese, who’s then saved by a Sarah Connor who’s skipped ahead to T2 mode. It was an exercise in instant gratification.
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Artwork by White_Wolf_Redgrave. Courtesy of Deviant Art.

(Ironically, Skynet’s avatar is played by Matt Smith. Yes, the 11th Doctor is responsible for all these screwy time-travel shenanigans. I’m not surprised. The irony doesn’t excuse the poor storytelling, though).

The worst part was—as the movie’s spoiler-ific second trailer showed—turning John Connor into a Terminator. It wasn’t enough to simply have a machine masquerade as him. No, the hero who’d been a focal point of the entire franchise was turned into Skynet’s pawn. It rivals Frank Miller’s deplorable treatment of Superman in The Dark Knight Strikes Again, where he’s become a willing servant of Lex Luthor. It’s beyond stupid.

Salvation was intended to be the first of a new trilogy, which I’m guessing would’ve been focused on the war with the machines, showing John Connor’s rise to power, and ultimately culminate with what was the first 10-15 minutes of this film. Everything would’ve come full circle. Unfortunately, the studio that made Salvation, the Halcyon Company, went under, leaving the franchise in limbo. So, after that was all sorted out, they gave us this.

There’s a scene where Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese remark on how people seem glued to their mobile devices—smartphones, PDAs, etc.—that are all about to be connected through a network called Genisys (which is actually Skynet). It was meant to be a commentary on modern man’s dependence on technology. I think this tangled mess of a “reboot” was made just for that scene. The stupid thing is this has always been one of the franchise’s themes. It’s a timeless idea. If the filmmakers wanted to “modernize” it a bit for the kids, they should’ve just done a straight reboot. Even that isn’t necessary. Despite advances in technology, the older Terminator films—especially the first two—still remain relevant.

Apparently, there are plans for two sequels to this film already. Now I wish someone could send a Terminator back in time to prevent Genisys from being made.

Final Grade: D

Enjoy the article? Watch my video review–wherein the T-800 tries to keep me from watching the movie!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJTurkNMHfw]

Catching Characters In the Everyday – Review of Figure Fantasy: The Pop Culture Photography of Daniel Picard

Figure Fantasy CoverI jumped at the opportunity to review Figure Fantasy: The Pop Culture Photography of Daniel Picard; the idea of seeing some of my favorite comic and movie characters in everyday, realistic situations is intriguing and funny.  Using 12-inch figures from Sideshow Collectibles, Picard creates these well-detailed, meticulous scenes that take playtime to a whole new level.

I’d always wanted to see the Joker face off with G.I. Joe or the new Star Wars characters interacting with the old Star Wars figures. Photography for me is a way to express my own stories as a fan. – Daniel Picard

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The book is a bit smaller than I expected, in terms of length, width and height. At 9.5” x 8.5” and 120 pages, it is a coffee table book that can be easily carried in a midsize purse, backpack or briefcase. Initially, I flipped through it quickly and the first picture that caught my attention straddled pages 12 and 13: The Gentlemen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer walking their dogs; images such as these fill the book.

The Gentlemen walking their dogsWhat is most enjoyable about the volume is discovering the intricate details in the images. Though they are actual photographs taken in different locations (many of which are described on the photos), Picard often includes elements that provide additional realism to the characters inhabiting the world he created. One of the introductory images, for example, shows Batman kicking down a door in what looks to be an old rundown apartment building; littering the floors and walls are The Riddler’s trademark green question marks.

Batman kicking in door to The Riddler

The real message seems to be that it’s important to play and have fun with these toys. This book reclaims that notion in a most wonderful way. – Simon Pegg

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And after years of making snow angels with my Snowtrooper doll as a kid, one look at the stunning, hysterical photographs in this comedic (and artistic) collection is like a time machine back to a simpler age. – Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith wrote the afterword. Like Pegg, he also felt this book captured the notion of play. He emphasizes that his dolls  lived in the world that Picard created and he could revisit those mash-ups in the pages of Picard’s work.

Palpatine and Darth Vader on a canoePicard is upfront about his relationship with Sideshow Collectibles, and though you could think of this as an advertisement for the companies product, I didn’t feel bad when I wanted to look them up and see what other collectibles of interest they had in stock. In all, this book presents a creative mixing of of some familiar characters’ universes and back stage peeks into their lives, some less familiar. The book is an enjoyable first read and would also stand up to subsequent reviews. It should have a spot on the coffee table for anyone into collectibles or video games, comic books and other pop culture characters.

You can purchase Fantasy Figure for $29.99 (hardcover) at Insight Editions.

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